Safety Net
by TheEliteLabRatsLover
Summary: Thea would never actually commit suicide. But she liked to know that she could, if she truly wanted to. So she has, what she calls, a safety net. But it isn't until her first safety net breaks, that she realizes she has another one in it's place. A better one.
1. Chapter 1

**Heeeyyyyy! So, with the help of the dazzling Cheshire Assasin, I have finally posted this story! I had been having a hard time working up the nerve on writing this story, because I want it to perfect, but Cheshire Assasin helped encourage me to finally do it, so thanks! ;) Oh, and by the way, you should totally go check out her account; it's spectacular! ;)**

 **So, this is going to be a two-shot, and even though the first one is short, just prepare yourself for the second one, because it is oh, so long. :D So, yeah, please enjoy and don't read if it triggers ya'! And don't forget that i'm also now accepting prompts and that I will always love a review. ;)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own this. Or Arrow. Or Flash. Or anything very important, really, if I start to think about it... :(**

* * *

Thea's not entirely sure how she had ended up here.

Sitting on her bed, in her room, staring down at the cold, metal pistol in her hand. She twists it slowly in her delicate hands, as if it's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.

 _Freedom_ , it whispers to her, luring her in until her hands shake and her jaw clenches.

She gets this way some days. She has those days when she feels as if there's no reason for her to be _here_. To be alive, and breathing. It's as if she's standing still, frozen in time, while the world moves around her at a rapid pace.

Accomplishing things she can barely imagine. It comes so easily for some people. They can just make the world a better place by simply _being alive_. Here, she only messes it up. The misery she feels deep down, is utter agony.

It's as if she's drowning in it, choking as she reaches towards the surface, but _can't quite make it_.

She pretends that everything is alright, though. Like she doesn't see the looks that flash in her brother's eyes as he remembers something from his time on the island. She pretends that they don't keep secrets from her.

That she and Oliver are still super close, and tell each other everything. Even though she knows that it's a lie, from knowing her own side of the story.

She's not bitter.

Honestly, she's not.

But sometimes, when her mother is so sympathetic towards her brother because of what happened to him on the island, Thea can't help but feel a bit of anger deep inside of her. Moira hadn't cared near that much about Thea during all that time.

It's the reason that she keeps her own secrets now.

She wants to tell Oliver about it, _needs to tell someone_ , but she can't. Because she feels like she would only be complaining about her own awful experiences when he suffered so much more on the island. And even though she knows this, she still can't help the small, angry remarks that escape past her lips at times.

 _God, she doesn't mean them_.

She swears that she doesn't; but she's just _frustrated_.

Frustrated that nobody seems to care about anybody, anymore. Oliver went through hell, but nobody seems to realize that she had her own personal hell while he was gone. They believe that she's _Thea Queen_ , her life is _perfect_.

Boy, are they wrong.

And oh, no, it's alright for everybody else to be upset, and talk about how hard they had it while he was gone, but it's not okay for _her_ to vent.

Because _she_ doesn't know what real pain is.

She's too wrapped up in her own perfect, _innocent_ and _naive_ world, that's all about herself, to be upset about this. She's too self-absorbed, and too _bratty_ to notice anybody else's pain and inner turmoil. That she, too, is human.

They have no idea.

That's why, during all of those years, she kept a 'safety net' hidden in a small box under her bed. It's not like anybody would ever notice. They didn't care about what happened in her personal life. It had been quite easy, actually, to 'borrow' her dad's old semi-automatic pistol, and hide it under her bed.

It had happened two months, exactly, after her father and brother's 'death'. She had known where her dad kept his guns, in case of an emergency, and so it was no real hassle to steal it and hide it from her remaining family.

She knew that she would never _actually_ use it, but still...it made her feel better to know that it was simply _there_. She's startled out of her thoughts, suddenly, when somebody knocks on her door. She drops the gun with a gasp, a semi-loud thud colliding with the floor as her eyes widen and an inaudible curse escapes part her lips.

"Thea, are you okay?" She hears her older brother's voice ask and she swallows as she quickly tries to hide the gun.

"Y-yeah," She stutters, struggling to hide the gun in a place she knows he for sure wouldn't find it in case he had anted something. Really, though, she had a hundred and one places to put it, but she didn't even think of those as the panic settled in her bones. If her brother caught her with the gun...

"Thea, what's going on in there?" He asks, the concern in his voice strong, and she quickly slides the gun under her bed, immediately turning around and sitting on her bed.

"Come in!" She says, mentally cursing herself for sounding so suspicious. She puts on a bright smile as he opens the door, one eyebrow arched and concern on his face.

"Everything okay in here?" Oliver questions and she nods enthusiastically.

"Uh-huh, just cleaning things up a little bit..." Her voice trails off as even she, doesn't believe her own lie. He nods slightly, pursing his lips.

"Mm-hmm." He murmurs, not believing it for one second as he glances around her room, meanwhile, her smile never falters. She's learned the perfect mask by now, after all, she had had a lot of practice over the past few years. "Mom wants you downstairs," He says after a couple of moments and she sighs with a nod.

"Tell her I'll be there in a minute." She says and he nods, glancing at her worriedly, for one final time, before closing the door and walking away. She sighs and closes her eyes for a moment, realizing just how close that had been.

She reaches under her bed for the gun, thinking distantly about locking her door at these times, and her fingers clasp around a cool, metal object. The pulls it out, looking at it once, before switching the safety off, and tucking it back into it's rightful place.

She doesn't know what she would do without her safety net.

 _Probably go crazy_ , she muses as she stands up and begins to head towards the door of her room, to go downstairs to tend to whatever the heck they want.

No matter what happens, she will know one thing. Even amidst all of the lies, and the pain, and the misery, she knows one thing for certain.

She wouldn't have survived without her safety net.

* * *

 **Yep...short. But hey, good things come in small packages. ;) Just be prepared for chapter two! I'll try to have it up some time soon! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow...this chapter is a lot longer than the last. Oops. :/ Hopefully you all won't mind. ;) So, yeah, I forgot to tell you last chapter, that the song was "Say Something I'm Giving up on You" by Great Big World. For this it's probably, "All Of Me" by John Legend, or "Let Her Go", by Passenger. Towards the end, however, you could listen to "Try" by Colbie Callait, or even "Hey Brother" by Avicii. Or whatever you want, lol.**

 **So I have an update coming for Seventy-Two Hour Insomnia, so keep an eye out for that, because it has seriously been too long. I don't think there's much more, other than the fact that I loved writing this story, and hope that you all like it as well. ;)**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned this or CW, then Prometheus would be gone already...just sayin'.**

* * *

Thea's done.

She can't handle anymore of this.

Oliver...her older brother, the man who couldn't even _kill a fly_ when he was younger...was the Green Arrow.

A ruthless, cold _killer_. She had tried to not let it bother her, tried to not think about how this was yet another life changing experience kept secret, and tried, _oh_ , _dear Lord did she try_ , to not be mad.

He didn't deserve her anger.

He didn't deserve her hurt, unvoiced questions of _why didn't you tell me?_ _I'm your sister_ , she thinks. _And you didn't tell me this_. But she's still proud of him. Proud that even through everything that has happened to him, he came out of it _alive_ , and a _hero_.

That was so much more than she could say. But it was this secret, that had been the cut of the line for her. It had finally been enough weight to settle on her safety net, and break it. Sending everything tumbling down into the blank abyss below.

She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't _handle_ all of this anymore. He had told her this, but it had taken him _three years_ to tell her. And oh, yeah, sure, he had been 'protecting' her.

But she didn't need protecting from _that_.

She needed her big brother to _just be there for her_.

To _trust_ her with his secrets. So that she could trust him with her own. But that wasn't happening. She realized, that when he had told her about his secret, she wasn't important anymore...she had never really been.

Here, for three years he had been the Green Arrow, fighting alongside a few teammates, and yet not once had he needed her help, or had, heck, even _told her_ _who he was_. He had trusted complete strangers to help him, and yet he had somehow felt that she needed to be _protected_ from it all.

Truth was, that _she_ hadn't needed that kind of saving. She had only needed him to be there for her.

To be there _with_ her.

She had needed her big brother, her imperfect, goofy, lovable brother, and instead had gotten a distant, faraway brother, who did indeed care about her, but didn't _trust_ her. And that's all she had needed.

So as she had seen with a mission, Felicity talking through the comms as Diggle and Oliver fought their way into a storage unit to capture a supervillian, she caught herself almost asking the question; _where do I belong?_. But she realized with a sinking feeling in her stomach, that she didn't belong.

This... _this_ was Oliver's family. Not her. Not anymore. She didn't have a place in his life.

She didn't _belong_ in his life.

She didn't belong in anybody's life. She certainly had no place in them.

She had lost all of her friends, _Roy_ had cheated on her, and she had believed that Oliver was the only one left that she could trust, and _love_. But she had soon realized how the feeling wasn't reciprocated...

And she had realized, with a sickening feeling as she backed away from _Felicity's_ monitors and desk, and had all but ran out of _Team Arrow's_ lab, that she wasn't important anymore.

 _Had she ever been important?_ ,she wondered briefly.

Felicity and the others hadn't even noticed her disappearance, which only proved her theory, no, _fact_ , even further. She's not an important person in anybody's lives, anymore. And that, was when the rope supporting her safety net had broken.

Sending her tumbling mercilessly, struggling to get a grip on something, _anything_ , but realizing that there was _nothing_ for her _to_ _grab onto_.

She had run out of the building, stopping once she reached the other end of the dark empty street, grasping onto a light pole as the tears streamed down her cheeks and her breath hitched in her throat.

She looked up, choking back a sob as she realized what she was going to do, _needed_ to do. She bit her lip, straightening her spine and biting back the sob that rose in her throat. She would do it tonight.

She was going to _end_ it.

End it all; the pain, the suffering, the _misery_ and _agony_.

If nothing else, end all of that for the others.

Thea inhaled a sharp breath, chancing one last glance at the empty nightclub, knowing that it would be her final time seeing it, before turning abruptly and walking as fast as her legs would carry her to the one place that she could go. She goes straight to her apartment that she shares with Oliver, and heads straight to her room.

She opens the drawer with scarily calm movements, and retrieves the shiny, blank object lying there. She can't help but think back to a few days before when Oliver had managed to walk in on her staring intently at the gun.

...

 _Thea sat on the floor by her bed, cradling a small, yet heavy pistol in her hands, eyes devoid of any emotion as she thought back to Oliver telling her his secret. It couldn't be...even though it did maybe make sense, it's just that it...didn't. Not to her. How could he lie to her? Again? Especially about something this big._

 _Her door is half closed, because Oliver had gone to take a shower. His mood has been so much better...so much happier, ever since he had told her. He had actually believed that things were going back to normal, now. She huffs quietly, running a finger along the handle and up to the trigger. If he only knew..._

 _"Hey, Speedy, I thought that-" Suddenly Oliver said, opening her door the rest of the way, startling her. His voice immediately dropped off as he saw the gun in her hands. "What are you doing?" He asked, trying to keep the question light, but the slight worry seeping through._

 _She tried her best, having learned a lot since the last time something like this had happened, even though he hadn't actually seen the gun that time, to play it off, surprising herself with how she managed to pull it off._

 _"Well, I mean, you're the Green Arrow. I've got to have some sort of self-defense from all of these 'supervillians' that you fight." She said, air-quoting the words with her fingers and a playful eye roll. Oliver chuckled, and she internally, weakly cheered because he had bought it._

 _"You're right, I am. Which is why you have nothing to worry about." He paused. "Besides, I shoot arrows, not bullets." He said with a wink and she rolled her eyes in fond exasperation; knowing how to perfectly cover up her inner turmoil with so much practice. She really, really wanted to pretend that this was normal, and that life was becoming good again._

 _But for once, she knew better._

...

Her finger traces the pistol as she closes her eyes, a small tear escaping past her eyelid and sliding down her cheek. She shook her head, knowing that there would be no turning back now. She _wanted_ to do this.

She _had_ to do this.

She shoves the drawer close, and heads to the top of the building, knowing that she wouldn't be able to survive both a gun shot to the head, and fall off of a twenty story building.

She could take no chances.

Besides, she almost found it poetic justice that Thea Queen would fall to her fate, a bullet to the brain. Her safety net was gone, and now she was falling. Falling with no one to catch her.

She makes it to the top of the building, opening the door and feeling the cold, brisk wind wash over her face, mixing with her wet cheeks. She takes her first step out, and walks over to the ledge where a bustling city lies beneath.

The ledge is about four steps high, but she has no problem climbing it, and standing on the foot wide ledge.

She looks down the drop below, knowing that many people would feel fear, scared for their lives and struggling to get back down...but not Thea.

Instead, she feels...peaceful. Like this was the way her life was meant to end. She wouldn't go down in an honorable, or even normal death.

No, she would leave this world fighting herself.

Just like the way it had always been.

Thea was destined to die at the hands of herself; that's just the way her life would go. Little did she know what was happening back at the Arrow Cave...

 _"Well, now I would say that that was a job well done," Felicity says as both Oliver and Diggle walk in, still fully clad in their suits, excluding their masks._

 _"Any job that gets done without any injuries or casualties is a job well done," Diggle says, as Felicity holds up a hand for him to high five, which he gladly does with a fond smile on his face. Even Oliver smiles, because for once, things seemed to be going right, until he noticed that a certain someone was missing. He frowned and turned towards Felicity._

 _"Hey, where's Thea?" He questions, and Felicity frowns, also._

 _"I-I don't know. She seemed a little upset, but I don't remember her leaving..." Felicity said, trying to remember and Oliver felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. That gun...he had known that there was something up. He knew his little sister. But he had thought that she was okay...that she was happy._

 _"I've got to go," He said, immediately heading towards the door to the elevator._

 _"But you're suit!" Felicity reminded, but he didn't even stop, his face set into one grim line._

 _"I don't have time," He declared, sliding into the elevator and praying that he wasn't too late._

Thea inhales a deep breath, looking up at the peaceful sky, and closes her eyes, slowly releasing the breath as she slowly, calmly brings the gun up to the side of her head, ready for it to end.

Finger _aching_ to pull the trigger.

But instead, it slowly moves, just pressing barely onto the trigger. She tried to think of her brother, and about how she really did love him and Roy, even though both did her wrong.

They didn't mean to, and she knows it. She doesn't want her last thoughts to be full of bitterness and lies. She doesn't hate them, nor does she blame them.

She loves them all.

 _Mom, dad...I'm coming_. She thinks, and in her mind she wishes one last, silent goodbye to Oliver. _I love you, Ollie. You were the best brother I could have ever have had. Goodbye..._ She thinks, and inhales one last time...

"Thea," A voice suddenly says, only slightly startling her, and she squeezes her eyes shut even more. _Ollie_...she thinks, _I didn't want you to see this_. He hadn't wanted to scare her, she realizes, but it's not like it would change a thing. She was _going_ to do this. "What-what are you doing?" He asks, and his voice almost sounds like it's shaking.

"I think we both know what I'm doing, Ollie." She says, bluntly. Simply.

"You don't-Thea, you don't want to do this." He declares and his voice is definitely shaking now. She laughs bitterly, finally turning around on the small ledge, and opens her eyes as she faces him; the gun never moving or wavering.

He's holding his hands out in front of him, as if he can stop this.

His eyes possess a helpless, _terrified_ expression, and for a moment she feels sorry, but reminds herself that this is _just a fantasy_. He doesn't care like that. Maybe he just doesn't want her death to be his fault...

"I think it's pretty obvious that I do." She states, voice hollow, and he sighs lightly, softly, still holding his hands out in front of him, and takes a couple of steps closer to her, to which she backs away as far as she possibly can; the heels of her feet just barely off the edge. "Don't come any closer!" She commands, and there's this look in his eyes. It's pleading. Pure _desperation_.

"Please, Thea, _please_ , don't do this." He says, and his voice is breaking, tears forming in his eyes and she squeezes her own shut, shaking her head. She won't fall for this. She _won't_.

"Ollie..."

"Please, Thea, just don't do this. I'll do anything to make it up for you! I'll do _anything_ , just please, _don't do this_." He's begging now, and her heart is breaking, and her world is crumbling but she _has to do this_. To make it better. For everyone.

"Ollie, stop." She chokes out, opening her eyes, and there are tears in her own but she doesn't care. "Just stop," She hiccups, her breath catching in her chest. "I have to do this. There was nothing you could do, Oliver," She says and he's shaking his head, desperation and realization sinking in as he's crying now. "I was too damaged...I'm _broken_ , Ollie." She chokes on a sob and he's now shaking his head fervently.

" _Don't say that_ ," He grounds out, but his voice is weak as he fights back sobs. She's sobbing now, too. "There's still hope, _God_ , Thea, there's still hope! You taught me that, don't just go and- and _ruin_ that. As long as you're alive I have hope. Please, don't do this." He pleads, but she shakes her head with a quiet, bitter laugh.

"Don't _lie_. I'm not important, we both know that. You don't _need me_. You have a family, and I get that, I'm not included-" He shakes his head, desperate and nearly sobbing now. "But please, don't...don't _lie_ to me anymore." She whispers, voice cracking as she closes her eyes.

"Thea-"

"No! No, I can't-I can't _do this_ anymore. Just please, for once, respect my decision and let me do this! You're better off without me; you all are. God, Ollie, I love you, and I am so, _so_ , sorry," She chokes out, closing her eyes and putting her finger back on the trigger.

"No, Thea!" He shouts as she starts to pull the trigger, and in one, swift motion, he rushes over at a speed that could rival Barry Allen's, and he's pulling her off the ledge and onto the building, shoving her arm as the sound of a gun shot rings out, a bullet flying aimlessly into the air as he's pulling her to the ground.

He falls to the ground, her in his arms, as she drops the gun accidentally in the chaos, and she's shouting, and yelling, and telling him she hates him, even though _she doesn't mean it, she doesn't mean it, Ollie_.

She's pounding on his chest, shouting at him to let her go, harsh and pleading shouts for him to let her go, but he holds her to his chest as she screams and beats him, staying silent as tears run down his cheeks at how much he almost, could have, lost.

She stops shouting, and her fists grow weaker and weaker until she's sobbing, desperate pleads muffled into his shirt to just _let her go, let her die_.

He's holding her, stroking her hair as she sobs into his suit, nearly silent begs coming out of her mouth. She doesn't wrap her arms around him, but he embraces her, whispering soothing words into her ear, tears streaming down his own cheeks as she sobs into his chest and her fist clutches his suit's vest.

" _Just let me die_..." She's muttering over and over again, voice breaking as she uselessly, feebly, tries to break free, but his hold is strong, and she knows that he's never letting her go.

If she had only been faster to pull the trigger...

She sobs hard, voice hitching continuously in her chest as her throat is raw from screaming, and her left hand is clenched so tight that her nails are breaking her skin. But she doesn't feel it.

She doesn't know how long they're both sitting there, one heart broken and destroyed, while the other one breaks slowly. Oliver's holding her close, tightly, as if he's afraid that if he lets go, he'll lose her. Forever.

And that all of this was _real_.

When her sobs stop, but there are still tears streaming down her cheeks, Oliver pulls back, cupping her cheek and forcing her to look him in the eyes. She's almost stunned at the broken look in his eyes, knowing that _she_ was the one that had caused this.

"Why..? Why would you do this?" He asks, voice breaking as he looks at her, sadness flowing over in his eyes in the form of tears. She looks down and swallows hard, but he lifts her chin back up, waiting for an answer and she sighs quietly.

"I'm not an important person in anybody's lives..." She declares, quietly, closing her eyes as she can't stand to see the dejected look in his eyes.

"Thea..." He begins, voice so lost and it breaks her heart even further, _because she did this_. "How could you possibly ever think such a thing?" She doesn't answer, because she feels as if it's obvious. "You are so important; you're my _little sister_." He says and she shakes her head.

"But you don't love me...nobody does." She states, voice quiet, nearly inaudible.

"That is so not true, I-" He sighs. "This is because I'm the Green Arrow, isn't it?" He asks and she shakes her head, but opens her eyes, and he knows. "Thea, I kept that as a secret to protect you, because I _do_ love you." He says and she scoffs quietly.

"You do? Yet you will tell completely, random strangers about who you are? And never once thought that this would be something that would be good for your _little sister_ to know?" She asks, and her voice is bitter, and there's hurt and pain in his eyes, and she _didn't mean it, but she just can't stop_.

"Thea..." He says, but she cuts him off.

"Why didn't you let me die?" She asks abruptly. "Why did you stop me? Your life, and everybody else's would have been so much easier? Why can't you just let me _do this_?" She asks, voice pleading as desperation begins to sink in even further. He closes his eyes with a slight shake of his head, and looks down. He's still holding her, afraid that if he lets go for even a second, that he'll lose her forever.

"Thea, how _could_ I let you?" Oliver asks, and his voice is so quiet, Thea isn't even sure she had heard him correctly. But when she realizes that she had, she takes the phrase the wrong way.

"Of course, Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, couldn't let a helpless little girl end her life." Thea declares, voice harsh as her jaw clenches and his jaw tenses, also, along with his fists as he shakes his head.

"God, Thea, no, that's _not_ what I meant. I could never let you die because you are too _important_ to me. Thea, you don't seem to realize how much I love you. All that time I was away, those _five years_ , you got me through it. Thinking of you, and how you look at this world...it kept me going. Because it taught me that there was still good in this world. Thea," He sighs, looking down for a moment as she watches him, silently.

Watching his expressions and movements to try and detect if any of this was a lie. She'd gotten good at that. She knew how to detect if people were lying to her, but she couldn't find any of those signs with Oliver. Was being the Green Arrow making him unreadable to her once again?

Thea watches as he closes his eyes briefly, shaking his head, before looking back up at her, and she was not expecting her heart to twist the way it did by the look in his eyes. It was so _pure_. "Thea, if you would have committed...suicide," He says the word quietly, as if it's forbidden.

"My world would have crumbled, it would _not_ have been better. Thea, how could you ever think that my life would be _better_ without you in it?" He asks, voice rising slightly, showing how serious he was as his brows furrowed, looking at her and not comprehending how she could ever believe that.

"I...I just didn't think that...I mean, I'm _useless_. You didn't trust me enough to tell me your secret, and then back at the Arrow Cave, I just realized that you have another family...and I'm just not included in that." She whispers, voice barely audible as she looks away from him; tears building in her eyes once again. _Why could they just let her be, already?_

"Thea..." He says, and there is so much emotion in that one word, that it startles her. Oliver cups her face, making her look at him, and by now there are tears running down her cheeks, but she feels something. It feels like... _hope_. Like maybe she does have some importance in this world.

"You are _not_ useless. And before you says something, know that I am _not_ lying when I say that. The reason I didn't tell you my secret was not because I didn't trust you, God, Thea, it was only to protect you."

"And you have _no idea_ how many times I wanted to tell you. How many times I came _so close_ to telling you. And you will _always_ be my family; not just because we're related, but because no matter what, I will always love you as family. But like it or not," He says, a smile spreading onto his face.

"You're gonna' be stuck with me as a brother for a long time." He jokes and she laughs lightly, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she smiles and looks at him. "You really are important to me, Thea. You need to know that." He says, and after a long moment, she slowly nods, a sad yet hopeful, closed smile forming on her lips.

"I do." Thea says and he smiles, and there is so much _relief_ in his eyes that it shocks her for just a moment.

"Let's go home, Speedy," He says and she laughs quietly at the nickname.

"Still the worst nickname ever," She jokes and he shrugs as he helps her up.

"Well, it fits you, so I don't think that it is." He states lamely and she shakes her head in fond exasperation as they head back to the door to leave. She catches him glancing back to the ledge and gun, repressing a shudder, and she wonders what would have happened if she had jumped.

What would have happened to him. She almost fears to know.

They're walking down the steps, together, when she feels his hand lightly brush against hers before his fingers entwined with hers, squeezing them gently; causing a smile to spread onto her face.

This life was crazy, but with him, she knew that everything would turn out all right. Even if there would certainly be some bumps in the long road ahead. Thea loved him, and she knew now, that he loved her, too.

Nothing was certain in her life, but she was still sure about one thing.

Oliver would _always_ be her safety net.

* * *

 **Well..? Was that too rushed, or did you actually like it? Let me know your thoughts on your way out!**


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